I am the type of person by nature that avoids confrontation. Don’t get me wrong it is not due to fear, it is due to remorse. There is a line in the movie You’ve got mail that always sticks in my head. Tom Hanks says about telling someone what you think about them. The line goes… “I must warn you… when you eventually have the pleasure of saying the thing you want to say at the moment you’re wanting to say it… remorse eventually follows.”
I have been in the situation hundreds of times where I felt like saying something to someone, and yet I bite my tongue. Who am I to judge? I am the last person to think myself better than someone else. Yet why do other people find it so easy to pass judgment? In this case fellow parents.
I have 3 groups of parents I interact with. Work parents, Neighborhood parents and Online parents. All of us have different ways of raising our children. Do I agree with everything other parents do? Nope. Have I learned some good parenting ideas? Yes. Have I told other parents that I liked certain aspects about how they raise their children? Yes. Have I told other parents that I dislike certain aspects about how they raise their children. NO!
So when someone makes the comment that they think my wife and I spend too much money on our child it drives me crazy. What is “too much”? Is our house filled with toys? YES! Did we buy him all those toys? Alas, no. Here is a math problem. (The algebra mentioned in the title)
A+B+C+D+E+F+G+H+I = TOO MANY TOYS!
A = Allowance – $10 a week. He does VERY well in school, has chores at home he almost always remembers to do, always asks my wife and I if we need help with something, and takes really good care of our pets. For a seven year old I am amazed.
B = Only grandchild on wifes side.
C = Only grandchild on my side.
D = Only nephew on wifes side
E = Only nephew on my side
F = Ebay. I Ebay. I Ebay A LOT! My son knows what Ebay is and how it works. When he tires of a toy he has me sell it. He then takes the proceeds and buys something else.
G = Thrift stores. My Ebay travels take me to thrifts store. So if see a shoe box filled with Pokemon cards for $1 I buy it. For $1 the look on his face is incredible!
H= Cash Hoard. At any given point this kid seems to have more cash at hand then myself. This is a combination of math components A,B,C, and F.
I = Parents. Yup, me and my wife. If I actually figured out how much non-allowancegrandparentauntuncleebaythrift money we spent on my son I just might be called a cheapskate. Shhhhhhhhh.
So does my son “get” more than other kids. Some yes, some no. Do other kids have things, or get to do things he does not? Yes. Could I spend a few paragraphs talking about things I see or hear other parents do that I do not “approve” of? Yes.
Will I? No.
Because when you eventually have the pleasure of saying the thing you want to say at the moment you’re wanting to say it… remorse eventually follows.
(although) Brian, I think a Playboy subscription for a preschooler is NOT good parenting.